A Ramadan Reminder: Making du’aa for Marriage

Four Ramadans ago, I was hurting. I was in a bad place emotionally and all I sought was contentment and peace. It was one of the best Ramadans of my life. 

You see, when we come to Allah needy and desperate, hungry for His mercy, our heads lowered and palms outstretched like true slaves, that is when our Du’aas truly have meaning and our hearts truly become receptive.

I had just come out of a testing ‘proposal’ and in all honesty, I wanted nothing to do with marriage for a while. I told my parents I didn’t want to meet or even entertain the thought of potential suitors for a while. I was quite frankly completely put off. And although just like every other Ramadan, I had written a Du’aa list. That Ramadan, marriage wasn’t amongst my Du’aas. I just couldn’t bring myself to ask. I had given up on the thought that the ‘right’ guy was out there, after having met more than enough wrong guys. And so, I poured my heart and soul into asking for contentment and peace whilst my lips and heart remained sealed tight to even the thought of marriage. 

And it was then, on an unforgettable night of Ramadan, that Allah taught me a profound lesson.

I was standing in prayer during Taraweeh when the Imam began to recite the verses describing the qualities of ‘the Servants of the Most Gracious’ from Surah Furqan. They are some of the most beautiful verses in the Qur’an and my ears perked up as I began to listen intently to their description. Beautiful quality after quality was mentioned until he reached the following one and my breath caught in my throat. I couldn’t believe it. 

“And those who say: ““Our Lord! Grant unto us spouses and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders of those who have Taqwa.” [Qur’an, 25:74]

There and then I realized that I had been so wrong. I had stopped making Du’aa for something that I inherently desired and that Allah Almighty loves. I had given up hope in Allah. And worst of all, I had been unjust to myself and forgotten exactly who Allah is. 

He is Al-Wakeel – the Disposer of affairs and the Trustee. The One upon whom we must rely completely. Blindly. Without hesitation and with unwavering belief. For no matter how impossible things may seem to us, HE is the One who grants and nothing, absolutely nothing, is impossible for Him. He makes miracles happen. 

He is Al-Wahhab – the Giver of gifts. The One who gifts and gifts and never stops gifting. The One who wants good for us more than we want it for ourselves. 

He is Al-Mujeeb – the One who responds and answers the supplications of those who call out to Him. The One who teaches us and reminds us to ask Him. The One who loves when we ask Him. 

That night, Allah taught me not only to ask Him for marriage, but that in fact my asking Him for marriage would be a means of becoming from amongst those chosen slaves who He lovingly mentions in the Qur’an. The Servants of the Most Merciful. 

So here’s my message to you:

Whether you’ve been waiting for years or have had your fair share of stress and turmoil, whether every single door seems closed or you have just come out of a broken engagement or messy divorce, whether you feel your hope running thin or cannot even imagine things being any other way than they are right now… 

Please don’t stop making du’aa. Don’t give up hope. Don’t forget who Allah is and how He can change your life within the blink of an eye. Ask and ask and never stop asking. Believe in Him and trust me, you will see amazing things happen. 

That Ramadan, I started asking again. I believed once more. Little did I know that a few months later, ‘the right guy’ would enter my life and I would be wed before the next Ramadan.